Communication is key in life. Ask yourself, in any situation, when is communication not welcomed ? Communication can present itself in many different mediums; verbal, chemical, posture, the list goes on. I for one like communication, I want people around me, I thrive on communication, knowledge, information. But communication needs to be effective, efficient, relative, without this it is simply not communication and garbled noise.
Communication is the sun’s light hitting the earth and you knowing it is still burning. Communication is the pain you feel when you prick your finger, your brain telling you it hurts. Communication is the scowl on your child’s face to let you know they are not happy or upset.
Why have I decided to write about this ?? Well a lot of things have come up in my life, it is my communication to other people which is affecting my own relationships with them around me. It is the communication I receive from other people or lack of. Am I am failing in my communication, am I dropping the ball, and I need to change this! Only I have the power to do this.
When communication fails, so do relationships, business, friendships, personal. People want to know what is going on. This is one success of Facebook! people like to know what every one else is up to. You can post something on Facebook and everyone can see, this is efficient communication to multiple people.
What is it that makes people good communicators ? Integrity is one of them, doing what you say you will do !, respect for others to know what they mean to you!.
Success, what is it, how is it measured, what is it to people, what do you do once you find that success ?
My success is something that always changes, and I have many different areas of success, in family, work, friendship. I find I am not totally success full in all of the areas at any one time, you will dominate in one area first and another area another time.
People may see me as successful from their eyes, and for that I am grateful, but your most toughest critic will always be yourself. Most people if not all will only show their successes, and not their faults or failures. NO-ONE is perfect, but other people may be perfect in your eyes.
How do we measure our own success?
How do we measure our own success, is it when we finally achieve our goals? is it at 80%, 90%, 0r 99% ? I believe they are successful in just being happy with themselves, and happy with what they do and happy with what they have done in life. Regardless of how much they want to climb that ladder, or how much money they have, or how big their company is.
the first part is being happy in yourself, and what you have done for others is the main part of success. In doing this you will find people will realise that money is not everything. You can have all of the money in the world but still be unhappy.
Do not get me wrong, success and happiness do not necessarily go hand in hand, it takes the right balance of a combination of things in your life to have both of them. As I write this am not 100% happy with what has happened within my life, this will change, so will my success goals, and my happiness, but it is currently out of my control.
Everyone is successful at something in their lives, most people are always looking for more of it, myself included. But also being conscious of yourself, and being in the moment of everyday life, having the ability to relax from the everyday of stressful life, and being happy with what you have right here and now, is success in its own.
Success is something you should see in yourself, and not what others see in you, or what you see in others. It is not just being happy with what you have done. But it is also what you do! You do need to stay focused.
To be continued…
There is no doubt Facebook has changed how we interact with one another. It is making us more social and interact more with one another each day.
But do you ever think how much time do you really spend on Facebook ? What is the last thing you did before going to bed last night? What was the first thing you did when you woke up this morning? Do you Facepoop on the toilet!. Do you pick up your phone in front of your friends to check, or do you sit in front of your friends and Facebook each other.
I have given myself a goal to disconnect from this social media platform, to reconnect with the people that I love and know. I would much rather see people face to face and give them an update on my life. If my life is on Facebook then what do you talk about when you finally see your fiends.
Do you see your friends more infrequently than if you are on Facebook. I’m not sure if I will be answering these questions, but it should be interesting either way.
06/05-2016 – Today is my first day without Facebook, I find myself touching my phone to go and open the app to see the world. In fact I am already looking at the world.
It may take some time for me to adapt to this old new way of thing in having to get my updates from the people directly. I announced it for about 10 minuets before deactivating my account the night before.
I have had some people who are concerned about me ring to see if everything is okay. It actually is not but time heals all wounds, and I did not want to be vaguebooking and making people ask if I am ok, or what is wrong.
The first day was not as bad as what I would have thought. I did find myself picking up my phone automatically and involuntary, touching the screen then putting it back. It is quite annoying but satisfying as well to know that is 2-3 minuets that I can concentrate effectively each time I could have been checking updates.
At night I found myself I front of the television messaging friends to see who should be chatting back, and to my surprise, it was more satisfying to have that one on one contact.
12/05/2016 – it is going well, I’m find that I am picking up the phone less and less. And being more productive with my day, apart from typing in here using my phone of tablet. It is sometimes better not knowing what is happening on Facebook. You really are just another dollar figure and the more you are on there the more the advertisers push their garbage in front of you.
16/05/2016 – Much better now, I find that there are less distractions throughout the day, I have started to become accustomed to looking to do more productive things, your mind still wonders what is happening out there but overall sometimes you are better just wondering. Because if you find out what is actually happening, this just makes you think more, and more about it.
24/07/2016 – OK, OK, after a small time off of Facebook, I have slowly arrived back on there. I have found out that I have some services that require Facebook to be active. So I keep it activated. I had decided to keep my privacy level low at the beginning, but now just towards friends.
Although having my brief time off of Facebook, it has made me realise it consumes you. I was always checking status’s updates. I am now able to not look at it all day. I have turned my notifications off. But I suppose it is a mater of time before I am back on there checking on an hourly basis.
I will continue to update on my usage.
25/08/2016 – Well Facebook usage is going ok, I am finding I am checking on my posts on a regular basis to see who has liked them. Strange to think I want to be Mr Popular, but I think I find some comfort to know people are interested in my life. I am posting more positive posts, inspirational quotes, and try to avoid the negative things. Either ignore them or block them. I know a few people who jump on and off Facebook on a regular basis, I’m not sure what this achieves maybe to just hide.?
Facebook is a personalised news media platform. Keeping you up to date on your friends (or so called) and other pages and things that you like, but, I think people become overwhelmed with the information that they get bombarded with. The negativity, all of the meme’s, positive and negative statements, vaguebooking. and the woe is me attention seeking.
I’m still in two minds about Facebook, I want to remove it again. But it’s so easy to keep it to keep in contact with the ones I love (for me my children) and see them grow up, lets see what the future holds.
25/08/2016 – Well I have gone and disabled facebook again, as well as deleted the app from my phone! Again I found i was checking it every second spare minuet that I had, it was just consuming time.
I have friends who have deleted the app and disabled their accounts because the amount of negativity on the site. For me I tended to remove or unfollow the negativity and focus on helping others, and being positive myself.
I found myself checking in-front of my children, posting and checking for updates, and mindlessly looking for hours on end at night. If only this time could be used more productively, things may be different. I’m not exactly unhappy, but I think things will be easier without the f’book.
Ciao for now and hopefully se will see you all soon.
It’s hard for me to write this as something has affected me in a way that sometimes you just can not think straight, or concentrate.
Remember when writing things online is usually writing them in INK. And these words can linger on far beyond after you are gone. Writing words from hurt feelings for me is a bit like having a conversation with a sober person when you are totally drunk. You may not portray your words the way you want, or people may perceive them differently.
I had now removed myself from Facebook for a indefinite amount of time. Weather I will be back I am not sure, but I just want to remove myself from that temptation of wasting time in knowing what other people are doing.
People are more like keyboard warriors on Facebook. Posting updates so frequently and it’s so easy to hit that “POST” button when done. It was so easy to just blurt out something and send it off. At least writing this I have to use somewhat of the brain capacity that I have left to ensure there are enough words to fill the page.
I had some information, and I had sent a status on Facebook, it was aimed to be a revelation or a question. The exact words I do not know how I had said it. It was aimed at someone and how people only change after a significant event. The fact is that people assumed one thing, and I meant another. Now those words are stuck on there and I look like a fool.
With these words I had hurt someones feelings, or they mis-read the words.
I have now lost something good.
Alot of people mis-understand intents on updates, and it had ruined something nice that I had. I only wish now that I could take it all back. Think about your actions, how they will affect others? How will others see it? What will people say?
Some people will not care at all most of the time what they say. But the fact of the matter is that they will care when something happens to to them that affects them unexpectedly.
I wish I could take it all back, I wish I had not created that drama. I only hope that someday I can rebuild that relationship. As the saying goes “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” This is not true, and with the ever changing dynamics of the human race. Words hurt more than physical trauma.
Everyone changes over time. EVERYONE. No one is immune to this fact.
Why do people change after a significant event ? Why do they not take the effort to change before the fact ?
It is possible you get comfortable in your life, you see no need for change as you see everything is fine in your eyes. But what about other peoples perceptions, peoples opinions, peoples wants, and needs?
Is it selfish in not wanting to change for the other people, and tell them that you are happy the way you are! Of course not, but bear in mind that this may make the other the other people unhappy, and make them resent you. I have always been one to make other people happy, I get joy out of this.
Is it selfish wanting someone to change? Of course not! You make subtle hints, you give them opportunities and offer help to get it done, you go the extra mile to make things work. But the one thing you didn’t do is to make that direct comment or suggestion in fear of retribution. Or you may have.
I for one like change in one way or another. Wether the change is welcomed or not, have you ever heard the saying “The grass is greener on the other side”. Why do people go to the greener grass? For change that they did not get!
But why do people that do not want to change, change after a significant event? Do they finally get that sudden shock, that although they were happy, that things were not what they seemed. Did they realise that holding their course was going to lead to a dead end. They were not happy as they could have been.
What happens to the people that had made these suggestions, or wanted you to change in that way. ? They may get bored with saying the same things over and over. Bored of the same old person. Yes they may love you, but they may go looking for that change else where.
I for one have been on one end of the stick. I have wanted someone to change, I made the effort, made the suggestions, hints. I had craved for that kind of change. I did not see that change what else could I do?
I ended up injecting quite a large shock to the system and ended up making a choice. I sought the change that I was looking for (The grass looked greener on the other side), and ended up continuing to make myself happy with this new change.
After everything settled, the I saw the change start to happen where I wanted it most. But now that change is because that person wants the change for themselves. They want that greener grass now too.
For me seeing that Change After the Fact, It made me think, what did that relationship with that person really be in the first place? Was there respect? I was happy that the other person was finally making that change, I wanted them to be happy. They were unhappy after my change. Why couldn’t they be ?
Why did they not change before the fact. I was angry that they did not change before. I was angry. I wanted that. I wanted that change for me. I feel angry that it didn’t happen sooner.
I know that I am not perfect, and I need a lot of change myself. There are some things that I want to change, and some things that I do not what to change. But in general, I am happy. I am happy that the other person is happy. I cannot go back, I need to go forward, on to change. I am happy with the change I had made. Maybe not how it was done (more on this another time), but it had to be done.
Life is life, nothing more nothing less. But its what you do within it that counts. I decided to start this blog bout things that I have experienced in my life, things that I believe. Whether you believe in them is your opinion, but this is mine.
I continually grow as a person, I like to learn about new things, how people work, and do what they do. I have my Ideas on what happens and try to put them into practice. I have done some despicable things, but mostly I like to think I have done the right thing in life. I am as happy as I can be at any point in time. My only input on this is to learn from your failures, and mistakes (some would say choices but sometimes things happen that you did not expect to although you thought you made the right choice).
I am not an overly wealthy person, in fact I think am quite bad with money. I am wealthy with love for my family that I had let down and I will continue to give them my shirt of my back and do anything for them as long as I am kicking and breathing. My happiness comes from knowing others are happy around me, even if that sacrifices my happiness.